The Pop Culture Massacre and the End of the World Sing-A-Long Songbook! 2007
OVERPOPULATION ANNIHILATION
Overpopulation annihilation
If I had a gun I would have lots of fun
With the people that refused to hold the fucking door open for me
I would drop a nuclear bomb on the terrorists and the minivans
And take out all the soccer moms
We got the upper-class assholes saying abortion is shit
We got the deadbeat parents pumping out malnourished kids
We got the rapists and molesters costing us money
When I would step inside their cell and rip out their hearts for free
We got the prostitute and porn star pieces of shit
The married scumbag men who need to have that ring burned on their dick
You make me sick
I can’t live with your shit anymore
Attention K-Mart shoppers there’s a homicidal maniac in aisle three
Please remain calm
Please form a single file line
Please shut off your goddamn cell phones
Get up against the wall
Keep your fucking mouth shut
The hip hop music blasting from the car
While the moron pumps gas or hangs around in the store
Turn it off no one wants to hear that shit
I guess to be a true idiot you must be inconsiderate
We got the yuppies in the SUVs supporting the war
Cuz the ribbon says so plus they gave Wal-Mart two dollars more
We got the frat boy fuckheads talking shit at the bar
I’ll cut you open just to show you how fucking empty you are
You make me sick
I can’t live with your shit anymore
All week long take an additional twenty-five percent off all guns and ammo
As always no permit required
Get up against the wall
Please visit our customer service department
For assistance with shooting yourself in the fucking head
Get up against the wall
Keep your fucking mouth shut
THE HAPPY MEAL-WORM
The fry kids and the chicken nugget buddies
Arteries clogged with shit that looks like Silly Putty
And then there’s Grimace morbidly obese
Dead overdose quarter pounders with cheese
The Hamburglar serving twenty-five to life
For stealing all the burgers for killing Mac Tonight
Captain Crook no one knows him anyway
On a desert island with his fish filets what a shame
Ronald McDonald where is your magic
A public sex offender now
Never ever trust a clown
Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onions on a sesame seed bun
Recipe for suicide
Over a billion mealworms served
Crawling through your intestines headed towards your golden arch
The Happy Meal makes us giggle and laugh
Until the real prize comes storming out of your ass
Big Mac and Mayor McCheese
Sharing a life where mayo flows frequently
Then there’s Birdie works for Weight Watchers now
Became a Hindu now she’s worshipping cows
The Happy Meal makes us giggle and laugh
Until the mealworm comes poking out of your ass
You are what you eat you’re gonna die
What ever happened to the movie cups
The pizza the hot dogs the Arch Deluxe
Drinking a milkshake makes my head implode
The Egg McMuffin makes my bowels explode
We’re gonna break into your corporate mansion
Built on blood and greasy fries
Slit your throat crush your skull
Make all the others watch you die
Fuck McDonald’s fuck Burger King
Fuck Wendy’s fuck Taco Bell
Fuck your over processed grade F mutated meat
You’re gonna burn in hell
You are what you eat
Tortured and denied.
LOSING TOUCH
There’s no medication that can help me now
There’s no medication that can save me now
There’s no medication that can stop me now
Everyone get the fuck away from me before I fucking snap
I’m the clown shooting people in the face for a laugh
I want my mommy to make you all disappear
Like she said she fucking would
Filthy looks follow me because I’m tattooed and unshaven
But all you heathens look so pretty to me
I’ve lost touch with all you fucks
And everything in my life including myself
Chew your mouth until it swallows you
Fuck yourself until you reproduce
Smile swallow
Put on a happy face
Smile twitch put on a happy face motherfucker
In an alternate reality the world is full of harmony
Until the veins pop out of my head
The doctor keeps a safe distance in the room
Prescribing me something brand new
Yet never heard a fucking word that I said
Hear the screams of the lullaby
In the darkest chambers of the tortured mind
Where the saints and sinners show no divide
Where the human race lines up to die
Inside my mind everything dies
Say those words to me over and over again
Things get better but first more shit begins
I don’t have the patience to play this fucking game anymore
I think I’d rather slit my throat
It always looks like a rose then starts to stink like a corpse
Then the feeling from a broken heart burning like a blowtorch
I’ve lost touch with my love
And everything in my life including myself
There’s no medication that can stop me now
Maybe I should just kill myself
Spill my brain all over the floor
PRESIDENT PINOCCHIO
Be all you can be
In the U.S. Army
I want to kill
Hut two three four
An ounce of oil for twenty bodies more
Direct orders from an alcoholic crackhead piece of shit
Who’s never fucking fought a day in a war
Bag 10,000 fragile corpses more
No mercy given to the women and children
If the government tells you to kill it’s not a sin
President Pinocchio apocalypse at the tip of his nose
Listen to me fucking listen to me
Open up your eyes to the prophesies
This Howdy Doody dumbfuck dictator has come
To spill his ignorance upon the Earth
The great apocalypse has begun
No way to escape his puppet show of death
The hills are alive
Lit up by nuclear skies
Yet still the truth is denied
No more fucking lies
President Pinocchio apocalypse at the tip of his nose
Hip hip hooray for President Pinocchio
When the world’s engulfed in flames
We must find a way to escape
The hills are alive
Lit up by nuclear skies
Yet still the murdering swine
Has taken control of your mind.
PRIZEFIGHTER
People can be so deceiving sometimes
Feeding you lies that just eat you up inside
We’re rotting like the mystery meat at the Chinese buffet line
But now I’m crawling back to life
I’m dragging my bloody knees
So take these chopsticks out of my ass
I’m begging for the ice cream pretty pretty please
Somewhere deep inside my broken mind
I’m convinced that you could still be mine
I know I’m bruised and bleeding
But don’t you ever count me out
Come on take your best shot motherfucker
I will always knock you down
I’m feeling my second wind now
I am alive and well
I can steal you a piece of Heaven
I can take them all to Hell
Try to take what I adore
I’m gonna smash your face right through the floor
Motherfucker come on
Bring the pigs and the filthy whores
I’m gonna sonic boom until you breathe no more
Up your ass motherfucker come on
You really think you’re something
With your flying combos in the air
But now I’m pushing every button at the same time
It’s cheesy but you can’t defeat me
X Y A B it doesn’t mean shit you see
This is the Sega version bitch prepare to bleed
And they can try to beat the shit out of me
I will break their goddamn heads
Just give me some kind of reason to believe
Pretty pretty please with cherries on top.
ELMO’S LAST LAUGH
No Teletubby with a dildo on his head
No Pee Wee Herman jerking off when Jambi says
No purple dinosaur dancing with the Prozac kids
No Eureeka’s Castle who gives a shit
No more Zoe or that blue fucking Spanish freak
No more Baby Bear I can’t stand the way that he speaks
No more Elmo talking in third person
Laughing like an asshole
Talking in third person
You ruined a legacy
Everything was just fine without you
You are the enemy
Of the 80’s and the early 90’s youth
The puppeteers tripped on LSD
Cookie Monster never gave a fuck about obesity
The Count gave into his OCD
Big Bird Bert and Ernie questioned their own sexuality
Aworld corrupted by “tickle me”
Makes my ears bleed
Elmo must die
C is for cookie that’s good enough for me
O is for Oscar we like our Muppets mean
D is for deathbed where Elmo sleeps eternally
S is for the seams that we tear apart so violently
You ruined a legacy
Everything was just fine without you
Who died and made you king
Jim Henson must be turning in his grave
Car fifty-four we’re gonna need a stretcher and a sewing kit
Brought immediately to 1-2-3 Sesame Street
The cause of death suffocation by Snuffleupagas
Yip yip yip yip yip yip uh huh uh huh
Yip yip yip yip yip yip uh huh uh huh uh huh
Who’s laughing now Elmo’s last laugh.
¡ HELL’S KITCHEN!
Bathing in flames
The stink of burning flesh
I shit my trousers what did you expect
AHershey’s stream of pain peanuts and corn galore
Mr. Peanut Orville Redenbacher have declared a war
Ernie Keebler sucks the E.L. Fudge from my asshole
Dips Dunkaroos into the sludge
Pillsbury Doughboy sits between my cinnabuns
He pokes and prods and waits for Nestle Quick to come
Snap crackle pop inside my pants
I feel my Grapenuts start to do a little dance
Then I hear the words of my fate
Tony the Tiger screaming “They’re great”
Silly rabbit Trix are for kids
Now I’m being punished for being so selfish
If I could start again
I would eat my Wheaties like Michael Jordan
There’s a fantasy inside my ass
Familiar characters from my childhood past
This is not a bad acid trip this is Hell’s kitchen
La puta de Chiquita Banana corta su cabeza
The Chiquita banana bitch chops off your head
It’s crazy it’s bad it’s not good
The Twinkie cowboy steals the cream filling from my cock
The Jolly Green Giant smashes my balls like two peas in a pod
Oscar Mayer makes a bologna sandwich from the shriveled remains
And feeds it to the Devil Dogs
Charlie the Tuna with his Starkist tuna lid
Goes to cut my ass cheek gets the taint of my balls instead
The Hamburger Helper glove tugs and rips off my cock
Puts it in a box of Fruity Pebbles now a prize in Bedrock
Aunt Jemima pone siropa caliente encima de su bolso de bolas
Aunt Jemima puts hot syrup on your ball bag
I’m shitting a rainbow of color
La cocina del Diablo
Necesito un Pudding Pop en el culo
Viva por Telemundo
Necesito un Slush Puppy en los testiculos.
NOBODY QUITE LIKE ME
Twenty-five years somehow still alive
I got the will but not the strength to die
This gentle breeze makes me feel alright
If I could just hold on to the way that I feel tonight
Twenty-five years just to end like this
Searching for a cure that will never exist
grown so tired of being stuck in this place
With these heartless hypocrites known as the human race
I spent my life sitting on the wall where I lost myself right before the fall
All the king’s horses all the king’s men
Could never ever put me back together again
Everything I told myself a wonderful lie
Everything I promised disappeared in time
Walking in circles got me nowhere quick
I traded my soul for a fortune worth shit
Must be nice to be so unified
To have your little clicks and a place to hide
To pass your judgment on a creative mind
To work your nine to five retire and die
No tie around my neck
No thorns upon my head
No needle in my vein
Nobody quite like me
Light the candle say an amen
It could never ever put me back together again
Drank the wine I’ve heard the sermons
It could never ever put me back together again.
UTOPIA BURNING
Welcome to the land of misery
Welcome to the land of Sam’s Club Botox and Vaseline
Welcome to the land of the onion bloom and Vidal Sassoon
It’s ok if you wanna do drugs
As long as your someone that Hollywood loves
The government thrives on sex and lies
Every speech of peace is hatred disguised
Chuck E. Cheese and Ronald McDonald
Nutrition starved and our children’s role models
The athletes are spoiled rotten steroid freaks
Making millions playing games while others starve in the streets
The church is corrupt and I hope that God’s pissed
They turned the Ten Commandments into a movie script
Are video games the new bread of life
Was Sonic the Hedgehog more powerful than Christ
“Hey boys now you can destroy third world countries
And jerk off to porno like G.I. Joe”
In every child’s toy box
In every magazine
Life is full of expectations I can never meet
Life is just one long commercial that can’t sell to me
I can’t be bought
I can’t be sold
I don’t care about cars and clothes
About diamonds and gold
Or which way the wind blows
Racist Abe tried to save the slaves and Washington wore a wig on his head
Home of the brave freedom rings equally but right now all the phones are dead
“Hey girls put down that book and join Skipper at the tanning salon
Now you can get skin cancer just like Barbie”
In every child’s toy box
On every TV screen
Pop Secret Tiny Toons Mr. Wizard Fruit of the Loom
Cover Girl Playboy Maxi pads Altoids
Toilet Duck Kool-Aid Mr. Clean Gatorade
Tae Bo Bowflex Flowbee Blistex
Michael Jackson Barbra Streisand Paris Hilton Richard Nixon
Bring the lawsuits motherfuckers
You can all suck my big fat American dick
